deadly

there is this deadly person that can kill me with a photo

-
which is /

so unfamiliar
so far

-
that i /

never listened

never saw

never touched

never smelled

-

and i /

barely feel

-

i love you and i can die just look at your photo

瘡疤

你是我心內的一块疤
原本你是一顆隨風亂飄的種子
飄進了我的心
無緣無故發芽
我不知不覺地
徑自提供養分
愛慕著你這個不請自來者
你紮了根 長了刺
你又向別處攀爬
刺刺穿了幾個洞
我嘗試連根拔
好大一個洞／傷口
你是我心內的一塊疤

了

不懂是长大了？想多了？经历了？
看的事变得不一样了
听了多久的歌
感动了，
或许说
终于了。
／
工作
一首歌
情绪到浓时
浑然不知
泪流了
慌了
镇定了

原来我从未不记得
你是我心最压抑最深处的秘密

－

变了，冷了，麻了，
心呢？
掉了。
／

累了
不了了
告诉自己了，
该忘了，
会不会忘了该忘了？

stupid place

when i come to this stupid place,
i have stupid thoughts

fuck the whole world!
fuck everyonelse's life!
damn it to the max
kan nin lao bu eh cao ji bai
in a total bad mode
i feel so annoyed

its been sometime

i need someone to close to me.

話說

淡淡的憂愁就是這樣的感覺吧
結束得很平靜，普通，自然，很快
沒來得急發現的到此為止
忙忙碌碌的奔波回到家裡
靜下的時候
發現原來我們畢業了
放學的時候就像往常般說聲拜拜就走了
殊不知我們這一別
重逢又是多少年後
願主賜褔保佑大家

am i the outsider?

things really have gone wrong in the world
its time to forget everything
and i have to move on

麵包

他媽的啃麵包過日子
几不營養
我很窮啊老爸

回顧當下

回顧過去看清自己
所幸有留下痕跡
美好的事物拉回來當下
美好地迎接下一個當下
不好的事物擺放在回顧處
偶爾回顧警戒自己

真是難得的positive篇
剛剛去看看那些和傻嗨們的傻嗨對話
沒有營養卻有當下純粹的好玩和開心
心情好好地再接再厲
何樂不為？

錢

他媽的要是我有錢我要坐在這裡煩醬多？
哀怨自己不是給人幫的料
沒錢面沒人面
想想平時要幫人我能幫就幫
就算幫不到都找人幫
現在到處找人幫都沒人幫
錢又不夠付人來幫我的人
甚麼世界
說到底還是錢嘛
以後不要幫免費的忙了

抗壓

才發現自己的抗壓能力很低
卻又發現往往想要放棄時因為家人而繼續下去感到佩服
隨著歲月增長煩惱卻也呈正比地在增加
這幾個月真的過得很不好
心情一直好不起來
課業表現也掉水準

社交生活怎麼搞都是一團糟
我到底又做了甚麼東西惹了別人
人家總說做自己甚麼的
我在想我自己應該是缺點太多

做自己越做越討人厭
生活中發生太多應付不來的考驗

自信心一路被挫
目前的生活做為2012的開端實在是夠爛
希望可以趕快畢業
到一個新環境去散散心

不太想活

社稷之現實，才財兩無著，
何去何從，人目何容。

人帥怪懶叫性格，
人丑怪懶叫賤格。

感覺最近周圍的氣氛很詭異，
直覺告訴我我又招惹到人了。

怎樣想都覺得死掉了才能擺脫這些麻煩事。

回家

高三華文課本某章說到 戲劇
其中提到 沒有矛盾，就沒有戲劇
話說本人的生活過到相當矛盾
卻一點也不戲劇化
這是為何
腦子轉動得倒是相當戲劇化
發覺自己真厲害把自己說成悲情男主角
扮可憐 他媽的心寒

承載不了冷漠
趕快畢業吧
我想回家

ignorance

what else?

says

thought of morpheus last night and prayed to him
he reward me with a dream that i own an i-phone 4s
not bad though

too many thing has come to my mind
i've been confusing and still confusing
too many thing that wont come to my mind
i see myself weird
frequency of my channel is totally different

say hi to emo
its been a time i never emo seriously

IDONTNEEDYOUTONEEDYOU

i have strong jealousy

my way

#1

whoever they are balia or not balia
i am quite touch with their pious heart to their religion
nannies who can't really walk properly slow slow also want to climb up to the cave
thats more than enough for me

#2

had 2 good day,
shoot something at least
satisfied

#3
i've decided to not to care too much

#4

perhaps i've been so guai lan to you,
thats why you are being so guai lan to me,
but you are really guai lan seriously, sorry.

M402b M403R

Got this, M402b

instead of this, M403R for myself

402b is sort of difficult to use
1/200 shutter speed FTW man~
gotta invest one flash for it
and also unfortunately, FP100 stop production dy
that means i got lesser chance to find the right film to shoot
FTW once again
anyway, still glad that having 402b

although its not the same thing with 403R
but i am sure one day i will get 403R for myself too
so, one of the lifetime wish, half done.
yeepi~
cheer for every little happiness in our life

big fat bloated empty shell

am nobody which no one will listen to
no money no look no qualification no skill

feel like leaving this world once again

the new year post

new year readers
guess i am the only reader
watsoever
finished the ups and downs of 2011
here comes the ups and downs of 2012
hope the earth is not gonna system corrupt on this year
coz i'm still one of the single man on earth
although i myself still not really believe in apocalypse

been thinking what will be my new year resolution
but can't get any
i'm just seriously hope everything n everyone around me goes fine
coz i believe when everything n everyone is fine
guess i won't get too much trouble too
pray hard for money for sure
god bless me n my family with money please

hmmm new stage of life is coming soon
super confused with my future
what should i do
what i'm gonna be
been so picky with choosing my path
stubbornness headstrong foolery
arrgh
watever answer will be there when time comes

gotta spend all my headstrong-ness while i still can
soon will no longer stated as a student

and bla bla bla bla bla~
its secret
nites and morning to myself